Episode #9 – The Power of Validation & Recognition: Igniting Motivation and Effort

[00:00:00] INTRODUCTION

[00:00:00] Taty Fittipaldi: ​Why sometimes do our compliments not seem to land, while other times people feel frustrated about how we react to their work? Why sometimes do recognitions seem useless? And sometimes the lack of recognition seems to shatter people’s grounds? What’s the catch that is not written in any manual on how to handle human interactions?

[00:00:26] Taty Fittipaldi: In today’s episode, we will discuss why acknowledging, validating, and recognizing our employees efforts can make a huge impact, on healthiness and happiness at the workplace, and how they can become motivation and effort multiplier factors in organizations. We will talk about when recognitions fall flat, and when they make the most impact. We will also explore two skills to help you improve your effectiveness, while acknowledging, validating and [00:01:00] recognizing your employees.

[00:01:01] Taty Fittipaldi: Fasten your seatbelts, because I know some of these ideas can be quite ground shaking.

[00:01:07] INTRODUCTION: Hello and welcome to the Leadership Nest Podcast. The podcast that nests stories, knowledge, and science to soar the leadership in you. I’m your host, Taty Fittipaldi. As always, our podcast will be divided into three phases. A story, a lesson, and its application. This way, you can have structure and information while also having some fun.

[00:01:38] INTRODUCTION: This program is brought to you by Coaching Expatriates.

[00:01:41] TODAY’S STORY

[00:01:41] TODAY’S STORY: Today’s story.

[00:01:49] Taty Fittipaldi: In today’s story, I will share two stories that will make up or lessons and application today.

[00:01:55] Taty Fittipaldi: The first story is one of the stories from my cultural exchange in [00:02:00] England. When I was 11, I was the youngest English student in Brazil to ever participate in an exchange program through the student travel bureau. My brother and sister got to go with me two years later and they were younger than me at the point, but I was the first to ever go alone.

[00:02:18] Taty Fittipaldi: I imagine my dad sent them too, after he realized his kids could handle it. But I was the Guinea pig, right? If you want to listen to the story about my first cultural impressions during that trip, I recommend you listen to episode number one of The Leadership Nest podcast.

[00:02:36] Taty Fittipaldi: That was an inspiring little trip and adventure and how that came to be and how I got my father convinced, can be a topic for an entire episode. But what I wanted to bring from that trip today, was a story from one of our group excursions during that trip.

[00:02:54] Taty Fittipaldi: After the excursion, I was waiting for the other students at a meeting point in front of a [00:03:00] beautiful cathedral. And I was doodling that view in a sketchbook. Looking at that doodle, I thought it was absolutely horrible, as I hated impressionist paintings, like Monet’s for example, Although at that time, I didn’t know what impressionist paintings meant.

[00:03:20] Taty Fittipaldi: I just categorized things as ugly or beautiful. I preferred paintings with higher precision. So those were in the category of beautiful. And taste is about preference, not about what’s right. And I was at that age where I was learning about my own preferences.

[00:03:39] Taty Fittipaldi: At some point another older student and one of the teachers came by. They looked over my shoulder at my doodle and praised me for such a beautiful creation.

[00:03:50] Taty Fittipaldi: I remember looking at their phases to see any signs of sarcasm. But there weren’t any, they were serious. So then, one commented to the [00:04:00] other that this would be a great fit for the cover of our exchange program’s magazine, that they were working on. I mean that was no Vogue or anything, right? But what a great opportunity it was to have something yours on the cover of a magazine, that shared the purpose among all the students, right?

[00:04:21] Taty Fittipaldi: But at the time, I did not see it that way. First because it was just a freaking doodle. And second, it was, according to my tastes, an impressionist junk.

[00:04:34] Taty Fittipaldi: So, what did I make out of their compliment? The opportunity? And the honor to be featured on the cover of our little magazine? Nothing. Nothing because I saw no value in what it was being offered. And I had not put any effort whatsoever into it. So their recognition and validation of my work had no meaning to me at that time. Wait. [00:05:00] Maybe my picture is out there and it could be a famous millionaire and I don’t even know it. Did someone see my painting out there? No. Oh, gosh, not a famous millionaire yet, then.

[00:05:14] Taty Fittipaldi: Now let’s talk about an opposite scenario and I’ll start with another little story.

[00:05:19] Taty Fittipaldi: In the first five years of my corporate career, a boss of my boss one day out of the blue, invited me for lunch. We went to this nice restaurant around the corner of our building. A place that was not super expensive, but it was also not the cheap place everyone went for lunch every day. You see, Brazilians like to go outside during lunchtime and spend at least one hour winding down, relaxing, and having a good time with coworkers that they affiliate with. You can easily spot affiliations within the Brazilian structure, just by observing who goes out with whom, during work day lunchtime.

[00:05:58] Taty Fittipaldi: Although my boss’s [00:06:00] boss would go out with our team sometimes for lunch, he hardly ever went to lunch with only one person because he didn’t want to show favoritism.

[00:06:09] Taty Fittipaldi: At least that’s what I thought.

[00:06:11] Taty Fittipaldi: So when he invited me to go with him for lunch, just the two of us, I knew something was up. While getting there and choosing the menu, we only exchanged amenities and pleasantries.

[00:06:24] Taty Fittipaldi: When the waiter got our orders and left, he started. Point blank, he asked me why didn’t apply for the controller open position they just created. I remember looking at him in shock. I replied, “Because I thought you guys would never even consider me for it.”

[00:06:42] Taty Fittipaldi: He nodded a few times while pondering what to say, and then he said he believed, I was already doing that job. And it was just a matter of applying, formalizing, and being paid for what I was already doing. That conversation made me feel [00:07:00] seen. They were actually noticing my hard work. Or so I thought.

[00:07:05] Taty Fittipaldi: So, this is what I did. I decided to apply for the position. And for that, I went on a quest to rehaul my resume. Prepare for interviews, renew my outfits for the number of interviews I would have, and so on. I extensively prepared myself, my narrative, my outlook and everything. To get accepted.

[00:07:29] Taty Fittipaldi: After all the process, due to local regulations in Brazil, because I was working for the past few years without ever taking a vacation, HR sent me home for a week. It was mandatory and it was to comply with the labor law. Or so I thought.

[00:07:46] Taty Fittipaldi: When I was back, someone else was in the place that I felt it was supposed to be mine. After all quote unquote, I was already doing that job and it was just a matter of applying [00:08:00] formalizing and being paid for what I was already doing. So, someone else was in the controller position. I applied for.

[00:08:08] Taty Fittipaldi: Needless to say, I felt betrayed and rejected, and I never got to understand why the manipulated me into applying for something that they never intended to give me any way. I was used and I never got to know why, or for what purpose.

[00:08:26] Taty Fittipaldi: Now, what did you hear in the second story?

[00:08:29] Taty Fittipaldi: One that a sudden validation and recognition of my work, we’re able to make great strides to motivate me to take steps further. And at the same time, two, the lack of the recognition and validation, through my formal rejection was able to destroy my motivation completely, as I felt betrayed and used.

[00:08:52] Taty Fittipaldi: The way the things were handled back then, completely destroyed me. Destroyed my will to work. And how I felt [00:09:00] about my workplace.

[00:09:01] Taty Fittipaldi: I never paid too much attention to any of these two stories of my life, that I just told you, until I saw a Ted talk. From a guy called Dan Arielly, who shared a bunch of experiments he did in the realm of recognition, validation, effort, and motivation in recent years. Among many of the experiments that all corroborated the same thing, I will share one that could introduce the idea, and speak for all of them. He provided Lego pieces to individuals and asked them if they wanted to build Bionics with them for $3. And, when people returned with one ready, he would ask if they would want to do it again, but reduced the price he would pay, say to, $2.70, for example.

[00:09:52] Taty Fittipaldi: And he did that until people thought it was not worth their time anymore for the money. He counted the average [00:10:00] number of times people would accept creating new Bionics while reducing the value they would gain in return.

[00:10:06] Taty Fittipaldi: Then in another experiment, they did pretty much the same, except that if they agreed to produce again, a new bionic this time, they would destroy the Bionics the participant just created in front of them. And give them the pieces back, for them to rebuild.

[00:10:25] Taty Fittipaldi: They also counted in this experiment, what was the average number of creations under such conditions.

[00:10:32] Taty Fittipaldi: And they found out, that people build fewer Bionics when they saw their work being destroyed in front of them, then when they did not.

[00:10:42] TODAY’S LESSON

[00:10:42] TODAY’S LESSON: Today’s lesson.

[00:10:51] Taty Fittipaldi: Today’s lesson is about the power of validation and recognition in creating a healthy work environment where employees feel [00:11:00] motivated, encouraged, and engaged with the work and with the company. To make the sink into your mind, I will share four main arguments that explore and empower this idea.

[00:11:12] Taty Fittipaldi: My first point is to connect my first story about my trip to England, to this idea. In that story. I did not see any value in the recognition and compliment about my little drawing art. And being featured in the magazine was not a big deal either back then. Why is that? Because validation of someone’s work, or the compliment, and the further recognition, being featured in the magazine, must hold true for the receiver. In other words, if the receiver of validation and recognition doesn’t see value in what they accomplish, or didn’t put too much effort into getting the validation and recognition, they will fall flat.

[00:11:57] Taty Fittipaldi: So hold did this first [00:12:00] thought while I make the others. A valuable thing whose creator doesn’t see value in and, or did not put the effort in means nothing to them. And any following validation and recognition will fall flat.

[00:12:16] Taty Fittipaldi: Now the second point I want to make before I start to weave everything together, is that when people see some sort of meaning in their work, they can keep up for longer times. Even if they see less and less value in it.

[00:12:33] Taty Fittipaldi: So long they still see value.

[00:12:36] Taty Fittipaldi: So there was sort of an unconscious thresh hold for value. Of course, we don’t know what this threshold is for each individual. What I want to stress out though, is that we all have a boundary for value for the things we do.

[00:12:53] Taty Fittipaldi: But once you start destroying things people put effort into in front of them, it’s over.[00:13:00] Their motivation and will to put more effort goes down the drain. So destroying things in front of people reduces this boundary of value.

[00:13:11] Taty Fittipaldi: And by destroying, I also mean rejecting, dismissing, disqualifying, discrediting, and so on, not just the physical destruction.

[00:13:22] Taty Fittipaldi: So this means to say that every effort needs recognition and validation, even if the result of someone’s effort is going to be destroyed later on, because you don’t want it or need it, or because the result is not the way you wanted or needs to be redone.

[00:13:40] Taty Fittipaldi: So let’s twist this into practical terms. Let’s imagine you asked your employee John to pull a bunch of data for a project. And they spent a whole week doing it.

[00:13:52] Taty Fittipaldi: Then the project gets canceled and you go and simply tell them, “Oh, forget it, John. It’s not needed anymore. Just, you know, throw [00:14:00] everything away.”

[00:14:01] Taty Fittipaldi: Now you know, you should never do that. If you asked your kid, your employee, your dog, your butterfly, to do something, even if you don’t want it, or need it anymore, what is it that you need to do? Recognize and validate their effort first. “Hey, John, such a fine job you did here. What can we learn from this data?”

[00:14:25] Taty Fittipaldi: Now, hold this second idea while I make the others. The third point now is related to a realization that I got from hundreds of clients, research, and anecdotes from my own. Effort and validation is a two way street.

[00:14:43] Taty Fittipaldi: Like in my first example, if you don’t see value and put effort into something, your recognition and validation wont to do much in terms of motivating or making people do more of the same.

[00:14:56] Taty Fittipaldi: In the same way, if you put in a lot [00:15:00] of effort, a lot of time, and energy, you want to be recognized! You want to receive validation for what you did.

[00:15:08] Taty Fittipaldi: And in Ariely’s work, he even proved that not receiving validation or recognition, meaning, just being ignored, was almost as bad as receiving a negative response to your effort or having your work destroyed. Both cases destroyed motivation and willingness to put more effort into the same.

[00:15:33] Taty Fittipaldi: I mean, my mind was blown away by this. And I don’t even know why, because it’s so obvious. Let’s face it, it’s obvious. But we don’t consider that on a daily basis. How many times did we ignore our husband’s effort? A wife’s effort after cleaning the entire pile of dishes, the cleaning lady who made your office sparkling, and so [00:16:00] on. Sometimes we don’t just deny people of validation. We simply ignore them. Ignoring means not acknowledging. In human minds, of course, if you’re not a knowledging, you think they are not deserving of any validation or recognition either.

[00:16:18] Taty Fittipaldi: How many times didn’t I have a boss who I would come asking for feedback and they would reply saying, well, if I’m not saying anything, it’s because you are doing an excellent job. Hello? No, it’s because you are an awful boss! you are literally destroying people’s motivation and willingness to put more effort into your initiatives. Just because you are not timely acknowledging, validating and recognizing the work. And look, I’m not saying you need to give trophies for every little thing. A small gesture is sometimes enough.

[00:16:56] Taty Fittipaldi: So the third thought here, is: effort and [00:17:00] recognition is a two. Way. Street. The more effort you put in, the more recognition you want, because the more value you put on the effort you’ve done. And the other way of the street holds true. You can recognize someone or something all day long, but if effort and value do not exist on the other end, your recognition will do squat.

[00:17:26] Taty Fittipaldi: To add to this third point I wanted to put into this mix the research by Carol Dweck. That showed that when we recognize the effort, even when the result is not what we wanted, it is important for resilience buildup, motivation and learning progress.

[00:17:45] Taty Fittipaldi: She called this habit of recognizing effort instead of just the result, growth mindset.

[00:17:51] Taty Fittipaldi: My own pinch of salt that I’d like to introduce to this idea is that on top of recognizing effort for greater [00:18:00] motivation and resilience, we always, as manager, have to coach our employees on how to do better the next time.

[00:18:07] Taty Fittipaldi: We need to recognize effort, and we need to entice progress. And sometimes, our employees and people around us need this little nudge.

[00:18:17] Taty Fittipaldi: Now the fourth point I want to make is regarding recognition perception. If you work with people from around the world, you’ve noticed that people perceive recognition and validation in different ways. Depending on their backgrounds and culture. Cultures and people who are task oriented, need validation recognition of their production or result. While cultures and people who are relationship oriented, need validation of their person traits or abilities. To make this more tangible to you, I will give you an example.

[00:18:53] Taty Fittipaldi: Imagine two people who wrote a book, a German and a Chilean. Germans come from a low [00:19:00] context culture, meaning they are direct and straightforward with their communication. And they need less context to understand their speaker. They are essentially task oriented people. They’re focused on the task, not it’s context.

[00:19:16] Taty Fittipaldi: Conversely, Chileans, like most people in Latin America need higher context to understand their speakers and needed to extract more implicit meanings and messages to understand their situations. They are relationship oriented folks.

[00:19:34] Taty Fittipaldi: I told you that task oriented people need to be validated and recognized based on their results or production. While relationship oriented people need to be recognized based on their person, traits, or abilities. So in this fictitious scenario where the two wrote a book each, how recognition and validation would look like?

[00:19:56] Taty Fittipaldi: Validation to the German. Congrats! You [00:20:00] created an amazing thought provoking book. It must have taken you a lot of time.

[00:20:05] Taty Fittipaldi: Validation to a Chilean. Congrats! You infused incredible ideas into the book. It must have taken you a lot of time.

[00:20:14] Taty Fittipaldi: You see, they’re pretty much the same. But one validates the task and the other validates the person who made the task. The thought-provoking was the quality of the book in one. And the incredible ideas was the quality of the person in the other.

[00:20:33] Taty Fittipaldi: So the fourth thought I want to share with you is that you have to be smart to validate and recognize people around you because there is no one size fits all remedy here. You will have to adapt your form of validation and recognition based on how people perceive it. If you want to be effective, that is.

[00:20:55] Taty Fittipaldi: Taty, how the frack will. I know how to [00:21:00] recognize and validate to people around us. That’s the million dollar question, right? And that’s what you will learn in the next section.

[00:21:08] You’re listening to The Leadership Nest, the podcast that nests stories, knowledge, and science to soar the leadership in you, with your host Taty Fittipaldi.

[00:21:27] TODAY’S TIPS TO APPLY WHAT YOU LEARNED

[00:21:27] TODAY’S TIPS TO APPLY WHAT YOU LEARNED: Today’s tips to apply what you learned.

[00:21:36] Taty Fittipaldi: Your mind right now is probably racing with curiosity and excitement about putting this idea of recognition into practice. You want to start acknowledging, validating, and recognizing people around you, for the possibility of having them feel more motivated and happy. So your million dollar question is how the frack will I know how to recognize and [00:22:00] validate people around me effectively.

[00:22:02] Taty Fittipaldi: And what I want to propose is using two skills before the act of acknowledging, validating and recognizing.

[00:22:10] Taty Fittipaldi: One is the power of questions. And, two, the power of active and intuitive listening.

[00:22:17] Taty Fittipaldi: You cannot recognize people in the way they need, if you don’t have data.

[00:22:22] Taty Fittipaldi: We talked about data collection in a previous episode, right? So you can also draw some gems from there. To collect data, in this context, you need to ask the right questions. And then listen carefully, to what they say, and to what they do not say. Now let’s test you. There was something I did not say now, but you should have heard. What was it? stop the play, rewind and hear again from the, to collect data in this context, what was in between the lines, [00:23:00] in other words, something I did not say, but that you should have heard?

[00:23:05] Taty Fittipaldi: Very well, looks like you’re back. You should have heard that you must learn to recognize none verbal communication in your interactions. Non verbal communication is a super-duper secret weapon to have as a global leader. Non verbal communication is everything that is not said, but communicated.

[00:23:29] Taty Fittipaldi: A great deal of active listening, besides really listening, is capturing the wealth of information that none verbal cues give us. Cues, believe it or not, are data. You have to collect them.

[00:23:44] Taty Fittipaldi: On top of this subjective data, you have to obviously collect the objective data as well. So this means your interactions from now on require a bit more due diligence, preparation and planning. Meeting a new vendor, client, [00:24:00] or any stakeholder? Check their LinkedIns first. What Google has on them? Write down some powerful questions to make them. So you can start extracting more data. Treat every interaction in your workplace, as if when you are courting someone you want to make out with. Confess. In that case, you sort of stalk them in a good way. Right? You check their social media, you ask other people about them, and so on. Why do we do these things? We are collecting data.

[00:24:33] Taty Fittipaldi: To recognize and validate people, you need to collect data, so that what you say rings true to them. And you can only know what resonates with people, if you ask them, if you know more about them.

[00:24:48] Taty Fittipaldi: From my first story, if the student and teacher asked me, ” Do you like to draw?” They would hear, “Yes, but this looks like garbage.” And then, if they asked a [00:25:00] follow-up question, “Oh, well, would you like to draw, then, an improved version of this for our magazine’s front cover?” Not only would I have said yes, but it would have put a lot more effort and would have seen a lot more value in the whole opportunity back then. Even at 11.

[00:25:20] Taty Fittipaldi: So as leaders, we have to be more conscious about our behaviors during interactions and how we build or destroy other people’s motivations and efforts. Depending on how we reject, ignore, or recognize them.

[00:25:36] Taty Fittipaldi: And we can make use of the power of questions and the power of active listening to help motivate and inspire people around us, by using elements that ring true to them, that resonate with them.

[00:25:50] Taty Fittipaldi: One thing I didn’t mention yet, but I like to close with, is that the more you do this, meaning, the more you acknowledge, validate, and [00:26:00] recognize people around you, you will notice, the more people around you will also do the same. Recognition and validation have an enormous contagious effect. It’s like kindness. The more kind you are, the more kindness you will attract and perpetuate around you. The same happens with recognition and validation. Because in the end, they are an act of kindness. ‘ cause like kindness. It seems you don’t need them, but when you have them, they make a huge difference.

[00:26:34] KEY TAKEAWAYS

[00:26:34] KEY TAKEAWAYS: key Takeaways

[00:26:43] Taty Fittipaldi: What’s your main takeaway from this episode, here are mine.

[00:26:47] Taty Fittipaldi: Number one. A valuable thing whose creator doesn’t see value in or did not put effort into means nothing to them. Even if it’s generally considered valuable.[00:27:00]

[00:27:00] Taty Fittipaldi: Number two. Effort needs acknowledgement, validation, and recognition. In this order. Even if the result is subpar and or will be destroyed later. Whatever the result is, the effort must first be recognized.

[00:27:17] Taty Fittipaldi: Number three. When people are not acknowledged, validated, and recognized to see a point in why they spent so much time and effort doing something, things lose motivation and meaning for them. It doesn’t make sense to put more effort into similar things.

[00:27:36] Taty Fittipaldi: Number four. Effort and recognition is it two way street. The more effort you put in, the more value you associate with it, and the more recognition you want. And at the same time, your recognition will only mean something, if people put effort and value into what you are recognizing.

[00:27:58] Taty Fittipaldi: Number five,[00:28:00] you have to adapt your recognition and validation to what rings true and resonates with people, to have the effect of motivation and effort multiplier. As leaders, we must pay attention to our own behaviors and how we are rejecting, ignoring, or recognizing people’s efforts.

[00:28:20] Taty Fittipaldi: And we adapt the way we recognize people by using the power of questions and the power of active listening. In other words, what I am not also saying here, but you should have listened, is that we must be more empathetic and pay attention to nonverbal cues.

[00:28:39] Taty Fittipaldi: Number six. Last, but not least, acknowledging, validating and recognizing is like kindness. They are contagious. The more you do it, the more people around you will do it too. Like kindness, we seem not to need them, but when we have them, they make a [00:29:00] huge difference.

[00:29:02] HIGHLIGHTS

[00:29:02] Taty Fittipaldi: this brings us to the end of these leadership Nast episode.

[00:29:06] Taty Fittipaldi: I hope you have enjoyed learning about the importance of acknowledging, validating, and recognizing people’s efforts, for greater motivation and happiness. Tune into our episode next week, where we will chat about how to improve your work experience by using expectations management in work relationships.

[00:29:25] FINAL NOTES: If you have any questions you’d like us to answer in a future episode of the show, just go to speakpipe. com slash Taty Fittipaldi or click the link in the show notes below to leave us a brief audio message. Make sure to visit us on our website, www.leadershipnest.com, where you can subscribe to our show anywhere podcasts are streamed so you never miss a show. While there, if [00:30:00] you find value in our show, you can also subscribe to our Global Leadership Weekly Newsletter from Coaching Expatriates, where we deliver bite sized lessons on global leadership, decision making, and cultural competence to help you learn how to think, relate, and strategize in a whole different way as a global leader. if you liked the show, you might want to check our online global executive leadership program, a nine week leadership development and learning system that will help you lead internationally while making financially conscious and impactful decisions. Taty Fittipaldi is also available for private coaching. See the website for more details at www.coachingexpatriates.com/executive-coaching. Thanks for joining us this week on the Leadership Nest Podcast. Be sure to tune in next week for next episode. Until the next time, keep nesting. [00:31:00] Wherever you are in the globe, this is Taty Fittipaldi wishing you a beautiful day.