S3 EP020: Study Case – Self Criticism Examples in Leadership: How to Overcome Your Harshest Critic

The Leadership Nest Podcast | S3 EP#020: Study Case – Self Criticism Examples in Leadership: How to Overcome Your Harshest Critic

[00:00:01] Introduction

Taty Fittipaldi: Once upon a time in a quiet barnyard, a little duckling hatched among his siblings. But unlike the others, he was different, bigger, awkward, and not quite fitting in. From the moment he emerged, he was met with rejection. The other animals mocked him, ridiculed him, and made him feel like he didn’t belong. No matter where he went, whether among wild ducks, geese, or even a kind old woman’s home, he never quite found acceptance. Seasons passed, and after enduring loneliness, hardship, and relentless self-doubt, the duckling stumbled upon a flock of magnificent swans.

Ready to accept his fate, he braced himself for yet another rejection. But instead, something incredible happened. The swans didn’t turn him away. They [00:01:00] welcomed him! And as he looked into the lake’s reflection, he finally saw the truth. He was never an ugly duckling. He had been a swan all along. Now, imagine spending your entire career believing you were something less than you truly are. What if you criticized yourself your whole life, convinced you were not good enough, only to discover you were actually the stunning swan?

This is the story of a global executive from this episode. Join me as we uncover the skills and insights that transformed an ugly duckling executive into a confident and thriving swan.

Hello and welcome to the Leadership Nest Podcast, the podcast that nests stories, knowledge, and science to soar the leadership in you. This program is brought to you by Coaching Expatriates, and I am your [00:02:00] host, Taty Fittipaldi. In this season, we are taking an exciting turn. Season three will focus on study cases, real life stories, and progress of global leaders as they hone a key leadership skill.

Each episode will highlight the challenges, breakthroughs, and lessons that shaped their leadership journey, giving you practical insights to elevate your own path. Whether you were a seasoned executive, a first time manager, or an aspiring global leader, these stories will inspire, inform, and guide you to achieve greater impact in your role.

[00:02:39] Today’s Story

Today’s Story: Today’s story.

Taty Fittipaldi: Josie was a highly capable executive, but she didn’t see herself that way. Instead of recognizing her strengths, she she was trapped in a cycle of relentless [00:03:00] self-criticism. She second guessed everything she did. Assumed people only saw her flaws and constantly felt like she was falling short. Much like the ugly duckling, she viewed herself as inadequate, convinced that no matter how much she achieved, it was never enough.

The irony? She was exceptionally effective at her job. Her colleagues admired her articulation, leadership, and problem solving skills. She had built a strong reputation without even realizing it.

But perception is everything.

And her internal narrative, the story she told herself, kept her from seeing the leader she already was.

When Josie first reached out to work with me, she wasn’t looking to refine her skills or grow into a bigger leadership role. She was ready to leave her career altogether. She was [00:04:00] considering two completely different paths: becoming a therapist, since she had a background in psychology or stepping into public speaking, something she enjoyed as a side passion.

In her mind, her current job didn’t fit her anymore. But what I quickly realized, was that she wasn’t running toward a new career. She was running away from her current one.

Just like the ugly duckling running from rejection, she was fleeing from a career she believed was rejecting her, despite having no actual evidence of being unwanted or unappreciated.

Josie chose to work with me because she had heard from other professionals that I helped them gain confidence and self-compassion. She figured that would be useful no matter which career path she chose. She saw coaching as a way to prepare for the transition. But what she didn’t know yet was that the biggest [00:05:00] transition she needed wasn’t in her career, but in how she saw herself.

The emotions.

Josie’s deepest fear wasn’t career stagnation. It was rejection. She was convinced that if people looked too closely, they would see that she wasn’t as competent as they believed.

She never received actual criticism or negative feedback. Yet, she lived a constant fear of it. It was as if she had spent her entire career trying to prove herself, only to believe she had failed, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

And so, like the duckling avoiding his reflection, Josie avoided truly seeing herself for who she was: a skilled leader with potential to grow even further.

After a few sessions of discussing possible career shifts, something became clear. Josie didn’t actually [00:06:00] dislike her job. She was simply too focused on operational tasks, which kept her from seeing the bigger picture of her impact. I could see she had a natural knack for strategic HR leadership, and I needed her to see that too.

But I knew words wouldn’t be enough. She had spent years dismissing compliments and achievements. Telling her she was a strong leader wouldn’t work. And I had to show her. So, I gave her a challenge. I asked her if she would be open to running a few small experiments with me, real world tests to see if HR was truly the wrong fit for her. If the experiments proved she wasn’t suited for it, we would move forward with exploring a career transition. But if they revealed something different, she’d gain valuable insight before making any big decisions.

Since we had [00:07:00] already discussed the possibility that she was running away from rejection, rather than from the career itself, she agreed that there was no harm in testing it out. It would be a few months of structured experiments. No pressure, just exploration.

With that in mind, she accepted the challenge. We built a plan of small, low risk experiments, where she would step into more strategic leadership roles.

She started spearheading projects, leading team meetings, and coordinating team building initiatives. With every successful experience, she saw, firsthand, how she thrived when given the opportunity to lead at the higher level.

One by one, the limiting beliefs began to break down. She started shifting from operational to strategy. She realized she had an eye for decision making, emotional intelligence and communication. All key skills for [00:08:00] HR leadership.

And once she got a taste of making a real strategic impact, she didn’t want to run anymore, she decided not to leave hr. But instead to develop the skills she needed to grow within it. She committed to strengthening her executive presence, decision making and storytelling abilities, key traits of a truly strategic leader.

The results

After just over six months, Josie was promoted to a global HR manager role. But even more important than the promotion was the shift in her mindset. She could finally see what everyone else had seen in her all along. She had spent years believing she was flawed, incapable, and unworthy of leadership. But when she took on real leadership responsibilities, she was applauded for her clarity, vision, and ability to engage teams. It wasn’t about becoming a different [00:09:00] person. It was about realizing who she had been all along, like the ugly duckling finally seeing its reflection, Josie recognized her own brilliance.

Josie’s message.

Josie’s biggest takeaway? The story in our heads, shapes our behaviors and our surroundings, and sometimes it takes showing, not telling, to convince ourselves to replace the story with a better one.

For leaders struggling with self-doubt, perception gaps, or imposter syndrome, Josie’s message is clear: before assuming you are not good enough, ask yourself if you’ve ever really looked at your own reflection. Because you might just realize you were already the leader you thought you had to become.

You are listening to the Leadership Nest Podcast, the podcast that nests stories, [00:10:00] knowledge, and science to soar the leadership in you, with your host, Taty Fittipaldi. If you are ready to take your leadership storytelling to the next level, check out my book, Mastering Business Storytelling, How Global Executives Can Craft and Tell Impactful Stories that Inspire, Influence, and Drive Success in Business. It’s packed with practical insights to help you make a lasting impact. Available now. Grab your copy today.

[00:10:28] Today’s Lesson

Today’s Lesson: Today’s lesson.

Taty Fittipaldi: You know, sometimes we get so caught up in our own internal narratives, that we don’t even realize we’re holding ourselves back. That was Josie’s biggest lesson. She spent years believing she wasn’t good enough, that her career had no real impact, and that she should probably move on to something different.

But, in [00:11:00] reality, she was already a brilliant executive. She just couldn’t see it. So, let’s break down some of the key lessons from Josie’s journey and how they apply to leadership, confidence, and career growth.

Key takeaways from Josie’s journey.

First, our internal narrative shapes our external reality. Josie constantly second guessed herself, assumed people thought the worst of her, and fixated on her flaws. And because of that, she unknowingly limited her own potential. She wasn’t just experiencing self-doubt, she was reinforcing it through her actions.

The second big takeaway? Sometimes the best way to challenge a belief is to test it. Instead of just talking about why she might be wrong, we created experiments. We designed leadership opportunities that allowed her to see in real time that [00:12:00] she thrived in hr.

She wasn’t just an operational player. She had the ability to be strategic, to inspire, and to make a real impact.

And finally, confidence doesn’t come from waiting until you feel ready. It comes from taking action and proving to yourself that you’re capable. Josie thought she needed to be perfect before stepping up, but through experience, she learned that confidence is built while you are doing the thing, not before.

Leadership learnings for global executives.

Now let’s zoom out and see how Josie’s lessons apply to leaders at any level.

Number one, your internal narrative shapes your leadership style. The way you see yourself impacts the way you lead. If you constantly doubt yourself, your team will feel that uncertainty. [00:13:00] If you lead with confidence and trust in your abilities, your team will follow suit. What story are you telling yourself about your leadership?

Number two, show Don’t Tell. Works in leadership too.

Just like Josie had to see the strengths through experience, leaders need to show, not just tell, their teams what’s possible. Lead by example, give your teams opportunities to step up and they’ll discover their own strengths the same way Josie did.

Number three. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Too many executives hesitate to take action because they don’t feel ready. But leadership is about growing into new challenges, not waiting until you feel a hundred percent prepared. The best leaders embrace discomfort and learn as they go.

Relevance to real world leadership challenges.

[00:14:00] Josie’s journey is not unique. Many high level professionals struggle with self-doubt despite having all the skills and experience to succeed. The difference between those who stay stuck and those who thrive is simple: the willingness to challenge their own narrative and take action anyway.

So, if you ever found yourself questioning whether you are really as good as people say, if you’ve ever hesitated to step up because you think you’re not ready, and if you ever assumed others see you as an ugly duckling, when in reality you are a stunning swan, take Josie’s story as proof that your narrative can be rewritten. The question is, are you ready to start writing a new chapter?

Sponsor: This episode is sponsored by Coaching Expatriates, a leading global executive development company that helps leaders around [00:15:00] the world create happier and more profitable workplaces, using the four success pillars in global leadership, an innovative leadership learning methodology. Visit their website at www.coachingexpatriates.com.

[00:15:17] Today’s Tips To Apply What You Learned

Today’s Application: Today’s tips to apply what you learned.

Taty Fittipaldi: All right. Let’s break this down into some practical takeaways you can start applying right away. Josie’s story was all about shifting her internal narrative, challenging limiting beliefs, and taking action to build confidence. She went from doubting herself to stepping into her strengths. And in the process, she completely changed her career trajectory.

Key takeaways.

First, remember that your internal story impacts how you show up as a leader. If [00:16:00] you constantly tell yourself you’re not good enough, that belief will shape your decisions, your confidence, and even how others perceive you.

Second, sometimes the best way to challenge a belief is to test it. Josie thought HR wasn’t for her. But through real world experiments, she saw that her strengths aligned perfectly with a strategic HR role.

And finally. Action builds confidence, not the other way around. She didn’t wait until she felt ready. She took small steps, tried new things, and gained confidence through experience.

Actionable tips for global leaders.

Number one, audit your internal narrative. Pay attention to the story you are telling yourself about your leadership, your abilities, and your potential. Is it serving you or is it holding you back?

Number two, test your [00:17:00] assumptions. If you think you are not good enough or not good at something, create an experiment. Try taking on a new project or responsibility and see what you learn. Data beats assumptions, every time.

Number three, lead with “show, don’t tell.” Just like Josie needed to see her strengths in action, your team does too. Give them opportunities to step up and help them recognize their own potential.

The way you see yourself affects everything. From your decisions to how you lead your team. The great news? You have the power to rewrite your story. The question is: are you ready to challenge your narrative and step into your true potential?

This brings us to the end of this leadership nest season. I trust you found value in acquiring insights that can elevate your decisions and [00:18:00] performance in critical global leadership roles and situations.

Stay tuned for future seasons of the Leadership Nest podcast. We promise to surprise you with new stories and concepts to help you learn more about global leadership, decision making, communication, and business storytelling.

[00:18:19] Highlights

Highlights: If you have any questions you’d like us to answer in the future episode of the show, just go to speakpipe.com/TatyFittipaldi or click the link in the show notes below to leave us a brief audio message. Make sure to visit us on our website, www.leadershipnest.com, where you can subscribe to our show anywhere podcasts are streamed so you never miss a show. While there, if you find value in our show, you can also subscribe to our Global Leadership Weekly newsletter from Coaching [00:19:00] Expatriates, where we deliver bite-sized lessons on global leadership, decision-making, and cultural competence to help you learn how to think, relate, and strategize in a whole different way as a global leader. If you like the show, you might want to check our online global executive leadership program, a nine week leadership development and learning system that will help you lead internationally, while making financially conscious and impactful decisions. Taty Fittipaldi is also available for private coaching.

See the website for more details at www. Coaching expatriates.com/executive-coaching. Thanks for joining us this week on the Leadership Nest Podcast. Be sure to tune in next week for next episode. Until the next time, keep nesting. Wherever you are in the globe, this is Taty Fittipaldi wishing you a beautiful [00:20:00] day.